On The Spot

The Age

Friday January 2, 2009

TOM GLEESON comedian

What would you accept for payment apart from money?

Beers. Free beers have an amazing exchange rate. You can get someone to help you move house for just 24beers.

What moment would you time-travel to?

Any time in 1970. I could watch Monty Python's Flying Circus as it first went to air and I could listen to brand new Led Zeppelin albums, knowing that there were plenty more to come.

What's your favourite game?

Portal on Xbox360. You have to get through all these obstacles using only a portal gun, which shoots portals on to walls. If you don't understand what

I mean, I'm sorry but you're out of touch.

Strongest childhood memory?

Riding my motorbike in gullies on the farm and then showing the exhaust pipe burns on my legs to my friends.

What should you be doing right now?

Packing bags for New York.

What skill should you have learnt?

Touch-typing. I could have finished this 10 minutes ago.

Favourite piece of furniture?

My filing cabinet because it creates order where there was once none.

Favourite season?

Despite my red hair and fair skin I love summer. I have absolute faith in sunblock even though other people don't. I am constantly asked at the beach by strangers, "Shouldn't you be wearing a hat?"

Do you need much sleep?

No. Just 11 hours.

Tell us a secret.

The PIN on my bank account is 4786.

Guilty pleasure?

I refuse to feel guilty when in pursuit of pleasure. Because I am comedian, anything that I enjoy that seems to have no purpose I call research. If I spend a whole day playing Portal on my Xbox and I make up one Xbox-related joke, GUILT AVERTED!

What is the closest you've ever come to death?

Years ago when I was riding my motorbike I almost went under a taxi.

What is your fancy dress costume of choice?

Sometimes I dress up as an adult, only for a laugh.

Where would you like to be right now?

On a farm, under a tree.

Tom Gleeson's book Playing Poker with the SAS: A Comedy Tour of Iraq and Afghanistan is published by New South, $29.95.